Whose Spark is it Anyway?"
by TM3 Dinobot
Summary: The Maximals' Sparks get mysteriously swapped around.


Rattrap was not in the best of moods when he had awaken that morning.  
If the word "hangover" was listed in Cybertronian vocabulary, this is how   
Rattrap would label his current state, as he lumbered through the base.   
He hadn't refueled on Energon for some time now, and realized that it was   
time for a snack. He passed a computer screen that was currently turned off,  
and he could vaguely see his reflection in the glass. The first thing he   
really noticed was that his chest seemed out of proportion. It now appeared   
red, and noticeably rounder. "Round," said his confused mind, trying to   
establish anything that was associated with having a 'round chest'. He   
thought that he might have been sleeping on something. "Round" didn't seem   
to have any similarity there. Suddenly he heard a voice from behind him.   
"Morning, Black Arachnia." It was Cheetor's voice. Rattrap turned around   
and saw Optimus where he would have expected to see Cheetor. "Optimus must   
be seein' things too. Man, how long has it been since I ate somethin'?" he   
thought to himself, and proceeded to scavenge any Energon available.  
  
After Rattrap had eaten and was fully vitalized, he realized that he   
felt more top-heavy than usual. He also noticed that his body was a darker   
blue than normal, he had three pointy fingers on each of his hands, and he   
had eight strange rod-like structures that protruded from his back. Rattrap   
was terrified for a moment, and ran over to the CR chamber to look at his   
reflection in the glass hatch. He stared at himself, his mouth gaping.   
"...........Woah dude," he said looking at his profile. "I've got boobs."   
Rattrap could now see that he had an exquisite face lift, transmetalized   
shoulder pads, cleavage that would put Cindy Crawford to shame, an hour   
glass figure, and two strong feminine legs with high heels instead of   
conventional feet. Rattrap was somehow inside Black Arachnia's body! In a   
state of panic, he ran over to look for Rhinox to solve the "out-of-body-  
experience", and ran straight into the nearest closed door by mistake. There  
was a "clang!" and Rattrap fell to the floor unconscious.  
  
Rattrap came to some time later, only to find himself in Rhinox's   
arms. "Black Arachnia!" he exclaimed. "Are you alright my Love?" Rhinox's   
voice was deeper than usual, and was spoken in a tone that didn't make him   
sound like he had a cold he was fighting that wouldn't leave his systems.   
"Eh, get offa' me, ya' horny bum!" Rattrap yelled, shoving him away.   
"Black Arachnia???" Rhinox said, confused. Rattrap now realized that   
Silverbolt's voice was coming out of the robotic defense unit.   
"Silverbolt???" Rattrap asked, just as confused. "What's going on   
here?"  
"Eh, no idea Big Green....er, boid-dog, uh,....." Rattrap replied.  
"Uh, sorry about the embrace there. For a moment I thought you were......"  
"Yeah, I know..."  
"Let's find me..er, uh, Rhinox and figure out how to get into our own   
bodies."  
"Good idea," said Rattrap staring at himself.  
  
As they searched for Rhinox, they had learned that everybody else's   
Sparks had switched bodies as well as their own. Cheetor was now inside of   
Optimus' structure, trying his best not to step on anybody. Optimus was now   
in Rattrap's body, and was beginning to feel claustrophobic from being housed   
in such a minuscule vessel. Black Arachnia herself had been relocated into   
Depthcharge, and kept falling backward, not being used to the severe bulk of   
the manta ray "wings". (Rather too Silverbolt's disappointment. He had   
never seen Depthcharge as much of a looker.) Depthcharge was inside   
Silverbolt's body, and couldn't shake off the goofy feeling he had since he   
was now wearing something of a loincloth. They finally found Rhinox in   
Cheetor's body, trying to rip chunks of fur off his structure since he now   
felt considerably hotter. "How can you live with this thing? It's like a   
nuclear fusion chamber in here!" he said to Optimus/Cheetor.  
  
Rhinox was at the computer console, trying to figure just the Pit it   
was that happened to relocate all of their Sparks. Unfortunately, as used as   
he was to having hands with only four fingers, he was now finding it   
extremely difficult to control the console with FIVE, and kept screwing up   
the commands involuntarily. Optimus was starting to panic. Beads of sweat   
were rolling down his face, and when you're a robot from a purely machine   
planet, sweating isn't exactly a normal occurrence. "Come on Rhinox," he   
said. "I don't know how much more of this I can take." "Calm down," Rhinox   
said. "With the Spark relocation trauma, panicking may only make it worse."   
Rattrap decided to chime in. "Eh, oh man. I broke a nail." (He was choosing   
his words carefully) Rhinox tapped at the computer for a few minutes more and   
was about to declare that it was utterly impossible to figure out what had   
happened, when Cheetor spoke up. "What if the Preds like snuck in and   
somehow managed to take out our Sparks one by one and put us into different   
bodies by using a stealth device or something?" he pondered. There was a   
silence that seemed to sit there, get bored after a while, then get up   
tiredly and take its leave. "Yeah, right kid," Rattrap retorted while still   
applying what humans would recognize as rogue to his face.  
  
If Cheetor had really known the truth, he would feel very pleased   
with himself for guessing the correct theory. The preceding night, Megatron   
had engineered a small robot into existence. It looked like a simple head   
which had three, twig-like fingers on each hand with two arms that appeared   
to protrude from the head, a single video camera lense sticking out of it's   
face, and two plates of metal that vaguely resembled locks of hair that were   
added unnecessarily. (This robot would later inspire Megatron to build a   
robot to help him eliminate his beast mode on Cybertron, but that is another   
story.) The robotic drone was battery powered, and slipped totally unseen   
by the Maximals' security scanners, or what whatever they had salvaged from   
the Axalon's wreck. Megatron was sitting in his Captain's Chair, as he   
always was, and was moving around a small joystick that stuck out of the arm   
of the chair. In front of him hovered a video display, that seemed to pan   
left, right, up, or down in movements that correlated with the movements of   
the joystick. It was the small robot providing the footage, as Megatron   
controlled the thing.  
  
The drone slipped unseen into the base, and found its way down into   
the living quarters, where Optimus was sleeping in the hallway. As big as he   
was, it was the closest thing to a room he could get. A small latch opened   
up in the robot's wrist, and it placed its hand over Optimus' chest. In his   
subconscious, he felt a powerful force gripping onto him, almost as if he was   
being sucked into a black hole or something. Then it went blank. His Spark   
hovered outside his chest, and then happily and eagerly, sucked itself into   
the small robot's bulky forearm. It then proceeded into Cheetor's room,   
where he was having something of a wishful dream of spending eternity in   
Black Arachnia's arms.......and slightly about the blazing, slightly bloody   
destruction of Silverbolt. The drone then sucked out Cheetor's Spark with   
its second arm, and replaced it Optimus structure. It hurriedly continued   
doing this through the dark of the night, with Megatron in the driver's seat.   
  
Meanwhile, since Spark removal/replacement was a brand new concept   
straight out of Megatron's head, the other Maximals were trying to keep their   
heads and to adapt to their new hosts as Rhinox continued to find a way to   
stop it. One major problem with this situation, was that they were   
permanently stuck in robot mode until their Sparks could get put back into   
their original bodies. Their onboard computers didn't recognize any of their   
command codes, like "Beast Mode", "Flight Mode", "Scanners Online", etc.   
This may not seem like that much of a hassle for those encrusted with   
Transmetal technology, but they would still lose a bit more energy than if   
they could go into beast mode. Manual transformation was certainly out of   
the question, since no one knew how to control any extra motors, servos, and   
pistons that accompanied their normal articulation. Rattrap seemed to be the   
best of this, but all he figured out what to do was wiggling the spider legs   
on his back.  
  
At the DarkSide, Megatron was preparing his manic minions for a full   
scale assault on the Maximal base. He had equipped each of the Predacons   
with machines that seemed to resemble electronic coffee cans on their   
forearms. "What are these, My Queen?" Inferno asked, bowing and trying to   
kiss his hand. Instead of merely killing Inferno on the spot, he pulled his   
hand away a spoke with a slight growl. "Spark removers," he said. "Just in   
case any of the Maximals attempt to resist. Yes..." "If they function   
properly..." Dinobot retorted truculently. Dinobot was no doubt forever   
loyal to Megatron, although he was never quite sure about the boundaries of   
his technical knowhow. Suddenly, there was a crash that came from behind   
Dinobot. Waspinator had inexplicably toppled to the cold, steel floor and   
laid there lifeless. Megatron checked the Spark remover on Waspinator's arm,   
and found that it was already occupied. "I can assure you," he said to   
Dinobot, "that they work 100%. Yes." Then he proceeded to put Waspinator's   
Spark back into his body.  
  
....Waspinator awoke pointing to the other Predacons. "Ooooh,   
Waspinator had the strangest dream. You were there, Megatron. So was Ant-  
bot, and Two-Head, and New Lizard-Bot......."  
  
Rattrap was sitting at one of the computer consoles on monitor duty,   
and it was pretty much a rather slow day. Grid Halix went by scan after scan   
without a blip, a tumbleweed blowing by was the only apparent action that   
took place in Sub-Sector 3-278, and a camera inside the base only showed   
Cheetor still displaying failed attempts to swoon over Black Arachnia.   
"Cybertania, am I bored!" he said to himself with a yawn. (Cybertrania was   
by far the most unpleasant city on Cybertron, and Rattrap had used it for one   
of his expletives.) He decided that, just for a laugh, to take a look at   
last night's security records to see if there was anything out of the   
ordinary that any of his comrades might do. He was a spy, how could he   
possibly resist? He saw the tape that shot Cheetor's room, and was maybe   
expecting to see him smooching the snapshot of Black Arachnia that stood on   
the night stand by his bed, but instead saw something else. "....What the   
ape-slag?...." What he was seeing on screen was a tiny object that hovered   
over Cheetor while he was sleeping, and somehow pulled out his Spark.   
"Cheeto....er, uh, Rhinox! Come take a look at this!!!"   
  
Rhinox had rushed over, and saw the security tape on screen. On his   
way, he unfortunately caught one of his toes on a rock and flew to the ground.  
(This was another problem with their new bodies.) "So that's what happened!"   
he exclaimed. "Something that the Predacons built snuck in here and tampered   
with our Sparks." He was putting two and two togerther, but rather slowly.   
If this was a TV show, (which it secretly was, unbeknownst by Rhinox or any   
other Maximal) he would have been boring them to sleep at this point. "If we   
could get this robot and reprogram it, THEN we could get our Sparks back into   
our own structures." But even as he explained this to the rest of the   
Maximals standing behind him, the heard a great explosion coming from behind.   
They spun around to find that Megatron and his Predacons had blasted the   
doors open, standing amidst a curtain of smoke.  
  
For this particular assault, Megatron had all the Preds with him. He   
learned constantly from Trial & Error, and he wasn't ready to make anymore   
mistakes this time. "Stand back, and no one will go offline, no!" he yelled   
as he grabbed Rattrap by the neck. Or should I say, he grabbed Black   
Arachnia's body. "I'll just be taking my dear old friend on a nice little   
walk..... towards the Ark. Yeeessssss...." And he raised his hand, and each   
of the Predacons rushed over to one Maximal each. The small robotic drone   
was there too, and hovered lightly behind Rampage. It went from Predacon to   
Predacon, trying to see if his Master's crew needed any assistance. Cheetor   
was furious to see Megatron with Black Arachnia, and reminded himself that it   
was really Rattrap he was with. He was still angry, but not as stressed out   
as originally.  
  
  
Finally, Megatron and Rattrap arrived at the front hatch of the   
ancient Autobot starship. "Now, Rodent!" he yelled. "Command Teletran 1 to   
stand down immediately!" Rattrap tried to figure a way out of this. But it   
was extremely difficult to ponder a descent escape plan, when a huge robot   
three times your own size is aiming a laser cannon straight at the middle of   
your forehead. He gave a deep sigh, and realized that he had no choice. He   
blinked a couple of times, as if going through a file it his databanks, and   
made a sort of "bing" noise. Several billion 1's and 0's could be seen   
zooming across his eyes, and he found the Ark's access codes. It took him a   
while to figure out how to do it, but then managed to download the commands   
into the ship's computer.  
  
  
Megatron slowly and majestically strode through the darkened halls of   
the ship, gazing at the famous Autobot and Decepticon veterans, completely   
unaware of where fate would take them. He was beginning to look increasingly   
like a kid in a candy store. He glanced at Starscream, and remembered how he   
would betray him in his future. He passed Blurr and was immediately reminded   
of a fast-talking Waspinator. The original Megatron was in view, and he gave   
the Decepticon leader a great bow. Meanwhile, Rattrap was walking several   
feet behind Megatron, wondering how any robot so simplistic could possibly be   
so famous. Finally, Megatron had reached his goal in the ship; the comatose   
Optimus Prime.  
  
Meanwhile, where was Depthcharge throughout all this? He had in fact   
been on a scouting mission for several megacycles, and just got back to base.   
As a tracker, Depthcharge was in a constant stealth mode, motivated by the   
sharpest of survival skills. These skills helpfully saved his comrades. He   
had finally discovered where Silverbolt kept his missiles in his body, and   
threw at any Predacon with his, her, or its back turned. Rampage got his   
head blown off, while thinking "It will all end in tears", Inferno was shot   
in his rocket booster in his thorax and exploded on impact, and Waspinator   
simply blew his own head off knowing that it was inevitable, and he should   
just get it over with anyway. ".........Okay....." Depthcharge mumbled to   
himself. The small drone was about to grab Black Arachnia's Spark, and   
Depthcharge was about to throw another feather-missile at the thing. "Wait!"   
Black Arachnia cried out before he fired. "I have another idea..." she said   
smirking and grabbing the drone in her bulky hand.  
  
Megatron silently hovered in front of Optimus Prime's limp, lifeless   
body, attempting to once again blast the Autobot into smithereens. His T-Rex   
tail cannon was glowing a brighter purple than usual, as he aimed at Prime's   
face. "Now, let's do this 'Optimus Death Scene' one more time", he said to   
the chunk of metal and wiring. "Please, DO get it right." He slowly aimed   
his cannon at Prime's face, and prepared to fire. Instead of doing so, there   
a violent cacophony of noise and light as Megatron fell to the cold metal   
flooring of the ship. He was out cold for several minutes, then awoke to a   
bizarre sight. He was on his belly for some reason, he had eight prongs   
protruding from his sided which he was now starting to recognize as some sort   
of legs, and he had large claws on his wrists that replaced his articulate   
robotic hands. In front of him stood all seven Maximals, weapons in hand.   
One of the weapons which Rhinox was holding, (his Spark had been placed back   
into his own body) was a gun that seemed to resemble the forearms of his   
small, robotic drone. He now realized that he was INSIDE of Quickstrike's   
body!!  
  
"Uh, QUICKSTRIKE: TERRORIZE!" he yelled, thinking quickly. "command   
code not acknowledged. Please refer to manual transformation," droned his   
onboard computer in a soothing voice. "Nooooooo!!! Predacons! Retreat!   
Retreat!!!" he yelled, thinking that they were still active. He scuttled   
out from the volcano as quickly as he could. Before he reached the doors,   
Optimus had pulled out his hand gun (the one they only issue on the toy for   
some reason) and fired so that the Fuzor with Megatron inside flew out of the   
entrance. "BLAST IT AAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!" he shouted at the top of his   
synthesis circuits. Optimus pointed out to where he lost sight of Megatron.   
"Be seein' you."   



End file.
